The importance of networking is well established. We know it is something we must do to live fulfilled and successful lives, both personally and professionally. While relationship building comes naturally to some, others continue to struggle. Even worse, some think they know what they are doing yet go about it in all the wrong ways.

Some people mistakenly believe that networking, by definition, is nothing more than showing up at a staged event to trade business cards. In reality, it’s anything but. Virtually all of our relationships are built on networking in one form or another. While business groups and service clubs may set the stage for an interaction, how you behave and what you have to offer is what really counts in the end. It’s about gathering, collecting and distributing information for the mutual benefit of everyone in your network.

It is important to remember that our power as individuals comes not from independence, but interdependence. Our interactions, and the way we relate to people and opportunities around us, truly allow us to reap the greatest rewards. Be prepared to contribute but expect little to nothing in return – there is no keeping score in networking. Helping others achieve their goals will help you achieve your own, though it may not happen overnight.

We have a basic mantra in our business – Network, goal of one: I will find one person to help with something.

Let’s take a look at some dos and don’ts that can help you get the most out of networking.

Networking Do #1 – Do Be Prepared

Take some time to do your homework and plot out your purpose before attending an event. Do you want to get introduced to specific people? Are you more interested in fostering existing relationships? Identify potential contacts beforehand and do some research to learn more about them. And when you do head off to an event, make sure you’re armed with the most important tool of all – a pen. You’ll want to jot down information on the back of your card before you hand it to a person, or make some notes of your own to refer back to later.

Networking Don’t #1 – Don’t Make it All About Your Business

The hard sell doesn’t have a place in networking. Though you should be prepared to share what you do with people – a concise, conversational and well-rehearsed elevator speech is always best – you shouldn’t focus on closing a deal. Pitching your business directly makes friends, neighbours and associates uncomfortable and less likely to engage you. Some consider it downright rude. Instead, keep your focus on the other person and ask thoughtful questions to learn more about them, their interests, and what they do. If the spotlight is always on you, chances are you’re doing something wrong.

Networking Do #2 – Do Make Your Own Luck

How many times have you thought that something happened because you were in the “right place at the right time”? By learning how to network effectively, you can create your own “luck” that puts you in the right place every time. The most successful people usually have small, tightly connected networks of people they know very well. And it isn’t grown by chance – the best networkers carefully select contacts with common ideals and similar personalities from a variety of fields, then work hard to nurture those relationships.

Networking Dont’ #2 – Don’t Focus on Quantity over Quality

We’ve all seen them at events: the guy who is more concerned with running around the room collecting business cards than having a genuine conversation. When he does stop, he does a lot of talking but doesn’t listen. Whatever you do, avoid this tactic. A handful of good conversations will do more for you than dozens of meaningless business cards ever could.

Networking Do #3 – Do Share Information and Contacts

Whether it’s making an introduction to another individual, or recommending a book, website or tool, think of ways to help that person. In turn, accept the same from others. We all have a natural desire to assist each other, and making and receiving these contributions are at the heart of true networking. Don’t hesitate to ask your contacts for help or advice. To ensure you’re offering your contacts the most value, first define your expertise. This will allow you to hone in on what kind of a resource you can be for others. Remember, this doesn’t have to directly relate to the specific product or service you offer professionally since our skills are often transferable and our interests diverse.

Networking Don’t #3 – Don’t Fail to Deliver

We’ve established that making recommendations to others is crucial, so be sure to always follow through on any offer you’ve made. If you promised to send over the name of a business book or to connect with a person on LinkedIn, make sure you do it. If you discussed your mutual love for tennis and tossed around the idea of meeting on the court, give that person a call to set up a match. Always come through on what you’ve promised to deliver – and more – so they know you are thoughtful and reliable.

The one thing we often forget when it comes to networking is the importance of self-confidence. If you don’t believe in yourself or your skills, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to offer anything of value to others. However, if you accept, acknowledge and trust yourself, the possibilities are endless.

Perhaps this Chinese proverb summed it up best:

If you want to be prosperous for a year, grow grain.
If you want to be prosperous for ten years, grow trees.
If you want to be prosperous for 100 years, grow people.