Fears That Drown Dreams – Part 2

Several issues ago we released a summary discussing the fears that we all face and cause us to be less than we can be.

While there are certainly legitimate reasons why a person may not pursue opportunities and dreams, I will focus on a few of the main reasons cited by people that haven’t made that leap to achieve a dream or even a simple goal in life but wish they had. I will also offer some thoughts on how to defeat the fear, and progress towards the dream.

Fire Hose Brigade

One of the largest ‘clubs’ on earth is the ‘naysayers club’. No matter what the idea is, it is an easy task to find the naysayers and the fire hose brigade to squelch the flames of passion and progress. Whether it’s a spouse or family member, a friend that ‘knows about these things’, a business person ‘experienced’ in these matters, an advisor that is looking out for your best interests (translate that to – don’t advise people to take any chances because I might get blamed), or someone else, there will always be a multitude of people to tell you why you shouldn’t do something.

That’s not to say that the advice of people close to you, and people you respect, shouldn’t be obtained and considered. It should. However, it should also be considered as only a part of the formula and not the primary decision criteria. If naysayers had the final say, we would still be in the dark ages because all progressive ideas, all leaps of faith that have driven our progress and our dreams over time, would have been fire hosed by the ‘naysayers’ clubs of the past. They are everywhere and always have been. They say things like ‘pull in the reins’, ‘batten down the hatches’, and ‘dig in your heels’.

We have a mantra that says, ‘Don’t get caught in the negative norm’. The reason for the constant reminder is because it takes a conscious effort to look at things in a positive light because our natural response to things is a ‘resistance response’. That can lead to erroneous judgments based only on the negative. It’s just the way we’re engineered, and as long as you are aware of that natural human inclination to the negative, you can weigh those responses accordingly and make a proper evaluation of opportunities.

In his book, ‘If it ain’t broke…Break It! Robert Kreigel talks about various forms of firehosers, including:

1)    Superrationalists – there is always a rational reason not to do something new – “that will never work”.
2)    Bottom-Liners – new ideas are seen as potential problems, rather than pragmatic opportunities
3)    The Seasoned Veteran – “seen it all before” and can prevent you from wasting a lot of time, energy, and resources
4)    Yeah, But – they seem to agree with you and then comes the ‘but’…by the way, everything before the ‘but’ is bull.
5)    Naysayers – focus on what’s wrong with any idea as opposed to the positive opportunities
6)    Things Will Get Back To Normal – it’s just a passing fancy so leave well enough alone
7)    Wait and See – doing nothing is best until everything is perfect, which of course, never happens
8)    You Can’t Teach an Old Dog New Tricks – be afraid of learning something new and taking on new responsibility
9)    Better the Devil You Know – change will only make matters worse – at least you know what you’ve got

Of most importance is inner firehosing or self-doubt that cements us in place. We think things like, ‘it will never work’, or ‘who am I to do that’. The result of those types of thoughts is self-defeat. Kreigel calls it the ‘Five D’s’ – discouraged, disappointed, disgruntled, defeated, and depressed.  

It’s Not the Right Time

‘As soon as the mortgage is paid; as soon as the kids are done college; as soon as I get my buyout at work; as soon as I learn everything there is to know about it, as soon as 2 plus 2 plus 2 is 4. As soon as I am absolutely sure that this venture will have zero risk and my astounding success is guaranteed.’ Again, these thoughts are absolutely paralyzing. They are very real thoughts, and most are perfectly legitimate thoughts, but only thoughts and not reality. However, as I said, they are paralyzing.

There is a quote by Goethe that has always intrigued me and it seems to strike at the very heart of this issue.

“There is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issue from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and magic in it. Begin it now.”

We had a saying, and it was long before Nike made it famous as their advertising slogan. Whenever, anyone hesitated to tackle a project, or to take a risk, or to take that next step to get the job done, we would simply say, ‘Just Do It!’

That attitude doesn’t suit everyone, but then perhaps it should. My guess is that it does suit those successful people we dream to be. The point is that the time to act is very likely now, when the opportunity is present, as opposed to some ill-defined ‘when …then I will…’

Those successful people we all aspire to be think much differently than that. They think, “I’d rather confront the challenge. I am good enough to succeed. I’d rather ‘just do it’!”

Everyone has a choice on how they approach life, and the opportunities that are presented to them, either with gusto or timidity. Let the naysayers rule and timidity will never be defeated. Consider the naysayers’ opinion – just make sure they are not simply ‘Business Prevention Specialists’ – approach opportunity with gusto, and the world will open up.

Dreams are achieved only with gusto. Stated another way by Marsha Sinetar, “Intentions count as nothing if we do not translate them into action.”