The Last Lecture

The Ultimate Irony
Many colleges conduct a series of “last lectures” in which they ask professors to imagine that they are about to die and to think about what wisdom, philosophies or beliefs they would like to pass on before they go. Randy Pausch’s participation in Carnegie Mellon’s series, renamed “Journeys,” represents the ultimate irony. Pausch, a noted computer science professor at the university, prepared his final lecture knowing that he was dying of pancreatic cancer.

Conflicting emotions tormented Pausch as he prepared the lecture. Considering the prognosis that he had only months to live, he certainly could have cancelled it. Married to Jai, and the father of three children ages five, two and one, Pausch had precious little time left with his loved ones.

Pausch came to the realization that his lecture could serve as a legacy for his children. He wanted them to understand what he stood for and who he was. On Sept. 18, 2007, Pausch, 46, addressed a capacity crowd of 400. Pausch opened by quoting his father as saying, “If there is an elephant in the room, introduce it!” So, that’s what he did: he began by explaining his condition and his impending death.

Paying Tribute to Great Parents
Pausch grew up near Baltimore in a middle-class family that valued morality and education, and shunned materialism. Pausch’s mother was a hard-driving English teacher who expected a lot from her children. His father, a decorated WWII medic, fought on behalf of the underprivileged. His small business sold policies to poor inner-city people who normally would be uninsurable.

The family used money for life’s necessities and important goals, not for movies and restaurant meals. Pausch’s parents funded a dormitory in Thailand to help keep girls in school and away from prostitution. The family’s dinner table discussions were stimulating forums for thoughts and ideas.

Childhood Wishes Do Come True
One of the slides Pausch showed during his lecture listed his six childhood dreams.

They were:

• “Being in zero gravity.”
• “Playing in the NFL.”
• “Authoring an article in the World Book encyclopedia.”
• “Being Captain Kirk.”
• “Winning stuffed animals.”
• “Being a Disney Imagineer.”

Pausch experienced weightlessness in 2001 when a group of his students submitted a proposal to NASA for a virtual reality project on board their zero-gravity plane. Faculty members weren’t permitted to accompany their students onboard, so the quickthinking Pausch “resigned” as faculty advisor and flew as a journalist covering the event.

Though he loved tackle football, Pausch never played in a pro game, but he learned valuable lessons from his coach. Former Penn State linebacker Jim Graham taught Pausch the importance of fundamentals,hard work and perseverance. Graham’s players developed self-esteem by learning new skills and practicing them repeatedly. Pausch adopted Graham’s philosophy and tried to teach his students to deal with hardship, play as a team and be good sports.

Because his family emphasized learning and self-awareness, Pausch loved reading the encyclopedia and eagerly anticipated publication of the annual updated yearbooks. He always fantasized about being a contributor. This became a reality several years ago when World Book’s editors asked him to write the entry on virtual reality.

One of Pausch’s childhood idols was Captain Kirk, the commander of the Starship Enterprise in the Star Trek series. Pausch admired Kirk’s leadership and managerial skills, including how he delegated responsibility while creating a singular purpose and vision among the crew. William Shatner, the actor who portrayed Kirk, visited Pausch’s virtual-reality lab when he was co-authoring a book on how science had realized many of the advanced technologies introduced on Star Trek. Shatner spent three hours at the lab and asked many questions. When he learned of Pausch’s illness, Shatner sent him a photo of Kirk inscribed with a line he spoke in an episode of Star Trek: “I don’t believe in the no-win scenario.”

Pausch inherited his father’s love of the kind of giant stuffed animals you can win at carnival games. Pausch collected quite a few over the years and he brought them on stage during his final lecture. He invited audience members to come up and take home an animal. A student who also had cancer took the big, stuffed elephant, so she, too, could talk about the elephant in the room.

Pausch became fascinated with Disneyland during a trip when he was eight years old. After earning his doctorate in computer science, he applied unsuccessfully for a position with Walt Disney Imagineering. In 1995, Pausch, then a University of Virginia professor, heard that Disney had undertaken a project in virtual reality, one of his areas of interest. He spent six months of his sabbatical working with the Imagineering team.

Heading into Rough Waters
Pausch was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer – the deadliest form of the disease – in the summer of 2006. He underwent extensive operations followed by chemotherapy, dropping from 182 to 138 pounds. A January 2007 CAT scan was clear but in August another scan revealed that the cancer had spread to his liver. His was told he had only “three to six months of good health.” Right after getting this jolting news, Pausch told his wife that he intended to make the best of every day.

A Lesson in Humility
Pausch learned an important lesson when he was a very bright but brash student at Brown University. He was a teaching assistant for a renowned computer science professor who told him that his arrogance and inflexibility would prevent him from maximizing his accomplishments. Pausch appreciated the candid advice and acknowledged the importance of knowing people who tell you what you need to hear – not what you want to hear.

A Matter of Perspective
Pausch put little stock in material possessions. When he was a bachelor, he frequently entertained his sister’s two children. Once he picked them up in his new Volkswagen convertible. His sister warned her kids not to get the car dirty, advice Pausch believed was impossible for them to obey. He promptly poured a can of soda on the backseat to convey the message that “people are more important than things.” That weekend, his nephew got sick all over the backseat; Pausch was glad he had showed the boy beforehand that he wouldn’t be angry.

Dream the Possible Dream
Pausch was an eight-year-old at summer camp, poised in front of the televison as astronaut Neil Armstrong prepared to step on the moon. The feat inspired Pausch’s belief that nothing is impossible, but he did not get to witness the historic moment – the camp directors sent the kids to bed. However, in those days before video recording, Pausch’s father had realized the significance of the event, and had photographed the TV screen as Armstrong touched the moon’s surface. Sometimes, Pausch surmised, inspirational moments require you to be flexible and bend the rules. History is more important than bedtime.

Stop Complaining and Do Something
Pausch learned about the importance of attitude from his graduate school landlord, a former standout athlete. A work-related accident had left the man a quadriplegic and his fiancée had broken up with him. But instead of wallowing in self-pity, he became a licensed marriage counselor. He married and adopted children. And he never complained.

Happy or Sad? It’s Up to You
Many people with terminal illnesses don’t believe they can have fun. Not Pausch. Pausch also went on a scuba-diving trip with three close friends who were painfully aware of his condition. They all behaved like teenagers and avoided serious cancer talk. After he was diagnosed, Pausch purchased a new convertible. Such forward-looking actions reinforce his optimistic attitude and even allow him to fantasize about recovering.

For the Family
The reality of his dire situation really hit home when Pausch pondered his children’s future without a father. Pausch decided not to tell the children about his disease at first, and waited until he became “symptomatic.” He packed every meaningful minute into his interactions with them. People whose parents died when they were young told Pausch how important it was to express his love. He created keepsakes for his children, including individual letters and personalized videos. He also left them “The Last Lecture.” He said he hoped his children would feel his presence as they go through life.

About the Authors: Randy Pausch was a tenured professor of computer science at Carnegie Mellon University. He died on July 25, 2008. Jeffrey Zaslow, a Wall Street Journal columnist, attended Pausch’s last lecture and wrote the story that brought him international acclaim.