Frustration is defined by psychologists as an unexpected barrier to goal achievement. It can range from mild annoyance to seething, red-hot anger. The source could be trivial: maybe someone stole your lunch out of the office fridge for the second time this month. Or it could be major, such as failing to receive recognition for your contribution to a big project. No matter what form your frustration takes, it’s probably reared its head in the workplace more than once or twice.

We’ve all been there and it’s not always pretty.

Though frustration is a natural emotional response, it’s how we deal with it that makes all the difference. Those of us focused on self-improvement may automatically assume we should try to cleanse our minds and adjust our habits to eliminate the feelings before they start. However, instead of bottling it up or blocking it out, learning to identify the source of your frustration – and process it accordingly – is the best way to handle this precarious emotion. Failing to control your frustration, and subsequent anger, can have serious personal and professional repercussions.

Consider this: the boss is preparing to promote an employee to a senior role. There are two workers with the same skill set and work ethic. Both produce stellar work and make great contributions to the company, but one is easily frustrated, often snapping at co-workers. Which person do you think will get the job?

Types of Frustration

We’ve all heard the phrase, “It’s not you, it’s me.” This is key to unearthing the root of your frustration. There are two main types of frustration: internal and external. Identifying the source of the barrier can lead to greater self-awareness and help you calm your nerves.

If you’ve ever become frustrated after missing your sales goal for the month or losing an important account, internal frustration – or personal frustration, as it is sometimes called – is likely to blame. However, if you’ve ever become frustrated after losing an important account because of a mistake made by a co-worker, external frustration is the culprit.

Oftentimes we mistakenly assume external factors are to blame when something doesn’t go our way, when we should really be looking to ourselves. Pointing the finger or playing the blame game can make a situation worse, which makes the ability to identify the source of our frustration even more important.

Managing Our Emotions

There are many outlets to vent our frustrations, but choosing the wrong one can land us in heaps of trouble. Of course, outward displays of anger or violence is the worst way, but gossiping with co-workers can be just as damaging. Consider the following five mechanisms when you’re feeling trapped.

1. Hold on a minute. Think before you react. Take a breath, count to 10 and remove yourself from the situation. Go for a quick walk and collect your thoughts. This will reduce your impulsivity and prevent you from saying or doing something you might regret later.


2. Keep it in context. Think about the last time you were frustrated. Did the feeling last forever? Was the situation as bad as you initially thought? Was it something you were able to overcome? Could your current situation be worse? Take some time to consider all these factors to properly frame the circumstances in your mind.


3. Pick up a pen. It may sound cheesy, but writing down your thoughts can be the release you need to clear your mind. Detail the negatives but look for the positives too. This can take the form of a quick note, a journal or a letter to yourself.


4. Distract yourself. If you can’t shake the feeling, find a way to divert your attention. Tackle a project you’ve really wanted to get started or jump into some repetitive busy work. Meditation can also be effective, if that’s your thing.


5. Get over it. Though easier said than done, sometimes the best thing you can do is suck it up and move on. Accept what has happened, take responsibility (if you’ve played a role in it), forgive yourself and others, and get back to work. Replaying a situation over and over in your head, or harboring ill will towards other parties won’t do anything but hold you back and hurt you more.

The next time you find yourself hitting a wall of frustration, remember you’re not alone and consider implementing the five steps above. As business guru and author Bo Bennett once said, “Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success.”

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