For years we’ve honed in on what we believed to be the pillars of success: Focus, perseverance, hard work, accountability, talent and perhaps a little bit of luck. But a new book by Wharton School professor Adam Grant is turning that notion on its head.

In Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success, Grant argues success is far more dependent on how well you interact with others, with relationship building skills proving more powerful than good business sense or an illustrious education. He divides people into three distinct work styles: takers, matchers and givers.

Takers are those who work towards getting as much as possible from every transaction, while matchers adhere to the concept of quid pro quo, aiming to give only as much as they take. However, it is givers – those who go out of their way to help others without expecting anything in return – who Grant says reap the greatest rewards in the end.

“Let me be clear that givers, takers and matchers all can – and do – achieve success,” he writes. “But there’s something distinctive that happens when givers succeed: it spreads and cascades.”

Let’s take a look at the four main reasons Grant says givers always rise to the top.

Network

Networking gives us many advantages, including access to information, diverse skills and power. It is no surprise that givers tend to be master networkers and establish strong relationships with key influencers that eventually help them get ahead.

Despite the end result, givers never approach networking with a “me first” attitude. Instead they focus on giving value to others, reconnecting with weak or dormant ties and doing favors. They don’t worry about their contacts reciprocating, though they almost always do in the long run. It is natural to assume givers take a hit when it comes to personal productivity, but the author says it is the opposite – givers tend to be more productive since they get more help from others within their network.

Collaborate

Takers are a nightmare when it comes to collaboration, often clamoring to get as much credit as possible while minimizing the work of others. On the flip side, givers are a pleasure to work with and take on tasks that benefit the group even if they stand to gain very little on a personal level.

The work produced by successful people is rarely a solo endeavor. Renowned architect Frank Lloyd Wright experienced great success while living in Chicago but his career took a nosedive after relocating to Wisconsin. A lack of collaboration was to blame. In the Windy City, he spent plenty of time with craftspeople and sculptors but maintained a more solitary existence after the move. Once he started a fellowship for apprentices, his creativity soared and he started producing quality designs again.

“Wright’s story exposes the gap between our natural tendencies to attribute creative success to individuals and the collaborative reality that underpins much truly great work,” Grant writes. “This gap isn’t limited to strictly creative fields. Even in seemingly independent jobs that rely on raw brainpower, our success depends more on others than we realize.”

Evaluate

Givers excel at bringing out the best in others. They have high expectations, and when training someone they create the conditions that allow the employee to bloom. Since they are naturally optimistic and trusting, givers tend to see potential in everyone and can easily spot a diamond in the rough.

To approach mentoring like a giver, we need to focus on four areas: interest, encouragement, grit and passion. By making learning interesting, encouraging others to go far, building grit and cultivating passion, we can motivate others to do the work required to prosper. And if a mistake is made, admit defeat and move on quickly. Only takers prolong the pain.

Influence

We’ve all witnessed takers try to sway opinion and sell someone on an idea. Usually they demand attention, raise their voice and make their points forcefully. Some even abuse their position or authority to get their way. All of these behaviors can be a big turn-off. Givers tend to use “powerless communication” which allows them to express vulnerability, ask questions, speak tentatively and seek advice.

This approach can help build rapport and trust with whom you’re speaking. It may even give them an ego boost by asking for their advice. When we hear a powerful message we sometimes get suspicious, but when we get asked a question it doesn’t set off the same alarm bells. Givers naturally use this to their advantage.

“Thoughtful questions allow us to be convinced by someone you already like and trust: yourself,” writes Grant.

Not everyone is a natural giver, however incorporating some of Grant’s points into our everyday lives can alter our view on relationships, and how we cultivate them, for the better. Simply embracing the idea that you’re willing to do a five-minute favor for anyone who asks could pay off exponentially. Don’t sit back and wait – join a community of givers, help fund a charity project or start seeking help from your peers more often. Don’t forget to give back more than you receive.